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best_enemies2010-04-25 11:26 pm
zero-ac.livejournal.com) wrote in best_enemies2010-04-25 11:26 pm
Entry tags:
Fanfiction: Searching
Title: Searching
Characters/Pairing: Five, Ten/Simm!Master
Rating: G
Warning: Spoilers for the BFA 'Loups-Garoux'
Disclaimer: Not mine, really, just playing a bit
Author's Notes: Talk about submitting late to a challenge...also thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
alex_e_smith for betaing!
Summary: The Doctor realises too late what he was searching for all along.
Searching
Turlough: What about you, Doctor?
Doctor: Me?
Turlough: Yeah, what do you really want?
Doctor: Well, I'm not sure, not really. Lot of things I suppose.
Turlough: Oh come on, how long have you been travelling? There must be something you always search for!
Doctor: Perhaps, but I was once told, I'd know when I find it.
Turlough: And have you?
Doctor: What do you think?
Turlough asked if he has found what he was searching for and that only irritates the Doctor. Of course he has not, why else would he still be wandering around the universe? And how can you find something you are not really searching for, because you don't know what it is that you are supposed to find? That you will only know what you are searching for when you find it? The Doctor isn't even sure he will ever know.
There are moments when he thinks he has found it, when he thinks he is close to finding out what he is searching for, but it always turns out that whatever he has found, whatever he thought was the one thing he really wants, is not it.
And so he continues to travel, to tour the universe, to help others find what they are searching for.
Five regenerations after Turlough had asked him his questions, he stands on board a ship circling the skies of a restored Earth. He knows then that he has finally, finally found what he was searching for all along.
In the moment he admits it, acknowledges it not only to himself, but to his friends and the one it has always been about, he loses it again.
The loss is bitter and even bitterer is the knowledge that he once ran from it, that he already had it a very long time ago and gave it up for almost a millennia of searching. And he realises, he can never have it again. Something you have given away, thrown away carelessly, can never belong to you again. Ever. And there won't be peace for him.
So he runs again, without aim, hoping that it wasn't what he was truly searching for, but knowing better.
But still, perhaps, one day, if he runs long enough, he will get there again.
END
Characters/Pairing: Five, Ten/Simm!Master
Rating: G
Warning: Spoilers for the BFA 'Loups-Garoux'
Disclaimer: Not mine, really, just playing a bit
Author's Notes: Talk about submitting late to a challenge...also thanks to
alex_e_smith for betaing!
Summary: The Doctor realises too late what he was searching for all along.
Searching
Turlough: What about you, Doctor?
Doctor: Me?
Turlough: Yeah, what do you really want?
Doctor: Well, I'm not sure, not really. Lot of things I suppose.
Turlough: Oh come on, how long have you been travelling? There must be something you always search for!
Doctor: Perhaps, but I was once told, I'd know when I find it.
Turlough: And have you?
Doctor: What do you think?
Turlough asked if he has found what he was searching for and that only irritates the Doctor. Of course he has not, why else would he still be wandering around the universe? And how can you find something you are not really searching for, because you don't know what it is that you are supposed to find? That you will only know what you are searching for when you find it? The Doctor isn't even sure he will ever know.
There are moments when he thinks he has found it, when he thinks he is close to finding out what he is searching for, but it always turns out that whatever he has found, whatever he thought was the one thing he really wants, is not it.
And so he continues to travel, to tour the universe, to help others find what they are searching for.
Five regenerations after Turlough had asked him his questions, he stands on board a ship circling the skies of a restored Earth. He knows then that he has finally, finally found what he was searching for all along.
In the moment he admits it, acknowledges it not only to himself, but to his friends and the one it has always been about, he loses it again.
The loss is bitter and even bitterer is the knowledge that he once ran from it, that he already had it a very long time ago and gave it up for almost a millennia of searching. And he realises, he can never have it again. Something you have given away, thrown away carelessly, can never belong to you again. Ever. And there won't be peace for him.
So he runs again, without aim, hoping that it wasn't what he was truly searching for, but knowing better.
But still, perhaps, one day, if he runs long enough, he will get there again.
END