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best_enemies2011-05-06 08:30 pm
dragonofmemory) wrote in best_enemies2011-05-06 08:30 pm
Entry tags:
The Hobbit Conspiracies
The Hobbit movie has been sick. The Hobbit movie needs healing. The Hobbit movie needs medicine. In fact I'd go so far as to say that, what The Hobbit movie really needs, right now, is a Doctor.
So, for those of you who hadn't heard, Sylvester McCoy is going to be playing Radagast The Brown in the new movie version of The Hobbit. There's a lovely little interview with him that you can find over here, but there's obviously so much more to him playing the role than just that. This is the Doctor we're talking about after all. So, without further ado, I present to you The Hobbit Conspiracies.
Let's face it. There's nothing that could make The Lord of the Rings better than to add the Doctor. You know he'd be a huge Tolkien nerd. He's probably even taught himself Elvish from the appendixes and has about as many copies of the books lying around the TARDIS as my mother does (really, don't ask how many that is).
What the world doesn't know is that the Master is every bit a Tolkien fanatic as the Doctor is. More so, even. Proof, you ask? Think of the rich history of forbidden knowledge Middle Earth must have. The Master would never have been able to resist it. He could even empathize with Gollum, constantly obsessing over one thing (ie, the Doctor in his case). Plus the costume disguises would totally be right up his ally. Not to mention he made sure his ring really was the One Ring To Rule Them All and set a whole cult around it in tribute to the books. He likes cults and let's face it, there's nothing that says CULT more than nerd cults.
So the movies of The Lord of the Rings roll around and naturally both the Master and the Doctor want a part of it. It's what every nerd dreams of and they want to be in on the deal! They were both refused a role, but that was fine in the end. They tried. The Master tried a little harder than most to be Saruman (You know the beardy villain would be his favorite), but he eventually stopped trying to hypnotize/poison Peter Jackson into giving him the role and moodily decided to just enjoy the movies after a few decades worth of extreme sulking.
Then a potential movie version of The Hobbit comes along and the game starts all over again. Except this time, the Doctor's in the running (possibly because of all the times he foiled the Master's plots earlier) and they're still refusing to let the Master play a part. They're considering the Doctor for the main character, no less, and this is absolutely unacceptable to the Master. A movie of The Hobbit which has the Doctor, but not him is an outrage that cannot be allowed. So what does the Master do? The same thing the Master does every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world and/or movie industry! He disguises himself as big time Hollywood execs and does everything he can to block the production. He even waves a new choice for Bilbo around and convinces everyone that the new actor would be better.
The Doctor still manages to snag a snazzy part to play. A wizard no less, as if he were mocking the Master. That means war. The Master pulls out all the stops to halt production on the show, trying everything from offing the director, to bribes. For some time this works. Now, however, the Doctor and other Tolkien fans are persevering and filming is going to start!
Which leads to the question -DUN DUN DUN!- What will the Master's next move be and will the Doctor be able to thwart it in time? I leave it to you all to discuss. If nothing else, Sylvester McCoy being in The Hobbit at least begs some cross over art/drabbles, right?
Also... wow. I'm not really sure how a post to simply alert everyone to the interview got quite so silly. I'm going to blame it on the fact it's Friday and the kids have driven me insane with their inability to sit quietly for five minutes and actually do their assignments. Yes, that sounds good. It's all the high schoolers' fault.
So, for those of you who hadn't heard, Sylvester McCoy is going to be playing Radagast The Brown in the new movie version of The Hobbit. There's a lovely little interview with him that you can find over here, but there's obviously so much more to him playing the role than just that. This is the Doctor we're talking about after all. So, without further ado, I present to you The Hobbit Conspiracies.
Let's face it. There's nothing that could make The Lord of the Rings better than to add the Doctor. You know he'd be a huge Tolkien nerd. He's probably even taught himself Elvish from the appendixes and has about as many copies of the books lying around the TARDIS as my mother does (really, don't ask how many that is).
What the world doesn't know is that the Master is every bit a Tolkien fanatic as the Doctor is. More so, even. Proof, you ask? Think of the rich history of forbidden knowledge Middle Earth must have. The Master would never have been able to resist it. He could even empathize with Gollum, constantly obsessing over one thing (ie, the Doctor in his case). Plus the costume disguises would totally be right up his ally. Not to mention he made sure his ring really was the One Ring To Rule Them All and set a whole cult around it in tribute to the books. He likes cults and let's face it, there's nothing that says CULT more than nerd cults.
So the movies of The Lord of the Rings roll around and naturally both the Master and the Doctor want a part of it. It's what every nerd dreams of and they want to be in on the deal! They were both refused a role, but that was fine in the end. They tried. The Master tried a little harder than most to be Saruman (You know the beardy villain would be his favorite), but he eventually stopped trying to hypnotize/poison Peter Jackson into giving him the role and moodily decided to just enjoy the movies after a few decades worth of extreme sulking.
Then a potential movie version of The Hobbit comes along and the game starts all over again. Except this time, the Doctor's in the running (possibly because of all the times he foiled the Master's plots earlier) and they're still refusing to let the Master play a part. They're considering the Doctor for the main character, no less, and this is absolutely unacceptable to the Master. A movie of The Hobbit which has the Doctor, but not him is an outrage that cannot be allowed. So what does the Master do? The same thing the Master does every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world and/or movie industry! He disguises himself as big time Hollywood execs and does everything he can to block the production. He even waves a new choice for Bilbo around and convinces everyone that the new actor would be better.
The Doctor still manages to snag a snazzy part to play. A wizard no less, as if he were mocking the Master. That means war. The Master pulls out all the stops to halt production on the show, trying everything from offing the director, to bribes. For some time this works. Now, however, the Doctor and other Tolkien fans are persevering and filming is going to start!
Which leads to the question -DUN DUN DUN!- What will the Master's next move be and will the Doctor be able to thwart it in time? I leave it to you all to discuss. If nothing else, Sylvester McCoy being in The Hobbit at least begs some cross over art/drabbles, right?
Also... wow. I'm not really sure how a post to simply alert everyone to the interview got quite so silly. I'm going to blame it on the fact it's Friday and the kids have driven me insane with their inability to sit quietly for five minutes and actually do their assignments. Yes, that sounds good. It's all the high schoolers' fault.