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best_enemiestitle: World Domination for Dummies (2/?)
author: infraredphaeton
summary: The Master doesn't like dying. Ten point Five is bored. A match made in some form of heaven.
In this chapter: Enter the Time Lords!
pairings: Commander!Simm!Master/Ten point 5, Theta (Nine)/Koschei(unknown Master)
spoilers: END OF TIME PART TWO SPOILED TO THE MAX
rating: PG-13
Once the Master was settled on the purple polka dotted couch with a cup of tea, the Doctor disappeared into the kitchen in search of the promised biscuits.
“So I’ve been thinking,” said the Doctor, returning with a huge tin, and setting it down on the table.
“Really? I haven’t seen you do that in centuries!” interrupted the Master nastily, grabbing a pink wafer.
“Oi! Can it! So I’ve been thinking about perhaps spreading out: not just Earth, but the whole galaxy…” started the Doctor, giving the Master a hopeful look.
The Master nodded, stuffing another biscuit into his mouth. “I mean, taking over Earth is fine,” The Doctor shrugged, pouring milk into his tea, “but it seems a little small, you know? One planet, one time period…” The Doctor leaned forward, pulling at the collar of his shirt, and looked at the Master intensely.
The Master blinked and looked down at his tea. Perhaps it was spiked, and this was all a surprisingly pleasant hallucination. They happened sometimes, what with the psychosis. But this was far too nice compared to George the talking rabbit who’d followed The Master around during his entire year on The Valiant. Or perhaps, he pondered, he’d died mid transport, and had ended up in the Master’s version of heaven: fresh tea, an assortment of biscuits, and a homicidal Doctor staring at him like he was the most important thing in the universe. Which he was, obviously, but still. However, as the Doctor was fully clothed, and they were stuck on Earth with little to no chance of leaving, it was more likely he’d just landed in what was fast becoming his favourite alternate dimension.
“Another biscuit, Master? Or I think I might have cake in the fridge…”
Favourite. Alternate Dimension. Ever.
/*/*/*
Rose whistled as she unlocked the flat’s front door, “I’m home!”
“Who’s home?” asked a slightly hoarse, irritated male voice from the living room. Rose sighed as she hung up her jacket: it looked like she was to get to give another lecture about appropriate human behaviour. Owen had mentioned to Carl (the current Torchwood team leader, since Lucy had been eaten by the giant worm last Wednesday) that the Doctor had stolen yet another alien pencil sharpener today, and while Rose had explained the great human tradition that way stealing stationary from work, the line had to be drawn at alien artefacts. Even if they did sharpen pencils.
“Doctor?” She followed the sound of voices into the living room, nearly tripping over a big black riot gear helmet that had been dropped next to the door. Honestly, the Doctor made the strangest friends. This even trumped the kangaroo wrangler he’d picked up last week.
“Yes, Rose, I’m in here. This is my good friend…” The Doctor trailed off, looking expectantly at the man on the couch. Great. He’d picked up a stray so new that the Doctor couldn’t even remember his name.
“My name is Sam Ter,” said the man, taking her hand and looking into her eyes, “and you will ob-ow! Doctor!” Sam drew back, rubbing his bicep, where the Doctor had punched him. The Doctor stuck a grin on his face.
“None of that now. Rose, do you want some tea?” The Doctor asked, immediately making her suspicious. This Doctor was indeed more like the first Doctor she’d met (just as the Doctor had said and how confusing was that to think about?) so the offer was incredibly out of character. Especially when she considered that he had some of Donna in him as well. She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. He smiled innocently. Okay, that was it.
“What did you do?” Rose demanded, scowling at him.
“Absolutely nothing! I swear. Sam can back me up, right Sam?” The Doctor turned pleading eyes on the Master, who appeared to melt into the couch at the sight.
“Of course, my dear Doctor,” The Master said, eating more biscuits, “he hasn’t done anything, Miss…”
“Tyler,” Rose introduced herself, obviously waiting for the usual burst of celebrity excitement that came from the mention of the Tyler name, here in Pete’s world.
“Pleasure,” The Master nodded, “now, if you wouldn’t mind going away, the Doctor and I have some…business…to discuss.”
The Doctor nodded eagerly, “Yes, business. About computers and stuff. Very business like. So, Rose, if you don’t mind?” he gestured at her bedroom hopefully, and she pursed her lips, considering the two Time Lords with mascara smudged eyes.
“Alright,” Rose said, and trudged into her bedroom, “call me when we need to start supper.”
“Absolutely!” nodded the Doctor.
“And we are not eating beans on toast and banana splits again. I don’t care how much you like them.” She warned, closing the door.
“Yes Rose!” he smiled, waiting until she disappeared before turning back to the Master.
“You have a room mate.” The Master said. It was a statement, not a question.
“Well, yes,” replied the Doctor redundantly, “she came with the planet, actually.”
“Well in that case…you were talking about leaving Earth?”
“Right! Come have a look at this!” The Doctor grinned, gesturing the Master towards his own bedroom.
The Master smirked as he followed the Doctor in, closing the door behind them.
…And Dave Swinford could just shut up, really. The Doctor didn’t look that different in jeans compared to the suit.
Certainly not the extent that SAS Commander was going on about.
/*/*/*
“There’s a council called, Koschei.” Theta poked his head into Koschei’s office, where the bearded Time Lord was joyfully marking down essays.
“Hmm? What? Oh, Theta. Right, I’m coming. Just let me…” he trailed off, scratching a failing grade onto the closest paper.
“Making another student cry?”
“It’s the only way I can stave off insanity.” Koschei said grimly, putting down his pen. He looked up at Theta, “You know, I’m still not used to this new face of yours.”
“I like it,” Theta said, running a hand over his shorn short head and pulling at his larger than usual ears, “It’s distinctive.”
“That’s not always a good thing.” Koschei argued, as they left the office.
“Wait! Professor!”
Koschei sighed, and turned around, looking at the young Time Lord running towards him with great displeasure, “Yes, Doijher?”
“It’s about this new paper, Professor, I don’t quite understand-“
“Then come talk to me during office hours, Doijher. I have to go.”
“But Professor,” Doijher, who was a young man who looked to be in his early twenties, with a black bowl cut, bright blue eyes and sticky-out ears, looked like he was on the edge of tears, “these are your office hours!”
Koschei huffed and swept away in a glide of red and gold robes. Theta hung back and patted Doijher on the shoulder, “Don’t worry about it, lad. You can make a personal appointment. I’ll make sure he comes.”
“Oh! Thank you, Professor Theta! I’d just feel so much better after getting a chance to talk with the Professor in person, one to one, you know?”
“Of course,” Theta grinned manically, “now, I have a Council meeting to attend. But I’ll set up something for you and Professor Koschei, shall I?”
Doijher looked like he was about to cry with relief. “Thank you so much, Professor Theta!”
Koschei stalked back to them, and grabbed Theta by the arm, snarling at Doijher, “Go study your thermodynamics or something!”
“But professor, I’m a twelfth year! We finish thermodynamics in second ye-”
“I said go!”
“Yes Professor!” Doijher scurried off.
“Why do you insist on encouraging that little idiot, Theta?” Koschei asked, still pulling his unwilling friend up the corridor towards the council chambers.
“It’s good to have dreams. Even if they are as unlikely as getting Professor ‘Icy pants’ Koschei into bed.”
“Icy pants?” Koschei asked, raising a dark eyebrow. Theta shrugged.
“Or travelling time and space.” The two of them paused, looking out past the Dome towards the stars. Theta bit his lip. Koschei frowned.
“Foolish dreams.” Koschei sneered, shaking his head.
“Impossible dreams.” Theta agreed, smiling ruefully, “Let’s go suffer through another council meeting, shall we?”
“We shall,” Koschei sighed, and opened the doors. “I wonder what they want to talk about now?”
“Ah, Professors! Take a seat. We’re just about to begin.” greeted the President, frowning at their tardiness. Theta shot them a quick smile and sat in the nearest chair.
“Now, Theta, we’ve already talked about your alternate dimension duplicate. But, we’ve found something new.” The president hit a button, and a holograph of a rather handsome blond man dressed in tactical gear appeared on screen.
“Who’s that?” asked Koschei monotonously, already beginning to doodle on his note pad.
“That would be you, Professor Koschei.”
He looked up, “No it isn’t.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t have a beard,” Koschei decreed, and went back to his doodles.
“And that is completely impossible, I suppose?” asked Borusa sarcastically.
“Completely.” confirmed Koschei, sending Borusa the stare he usually reserved for students turning in their work three weeks late.
“I have to agree with Koschei,” Theta said, looking at the hologram.
“Because that’s a surprise,” muttered another councilman, and received Theta’s own ‘three-weeks-late-essay’ stare.
“Nevertheless!” The President interrupted, “It’s definitely Professor Koschei. He’s called the Master, apparently.”
Koschei smiled slightly.
“Someone has to deal with this, before it gets out of hand. Track them down and figure out a solution. Bring them back to Gallifrey for judgement.” The President decreed.
“We’d have to leave Gallifrey?” asked Theta, eyes glinting.
“Yes.”
Koschei put down his pen, and the two Time Lords looked at each other.
“We’ll do it!” Theta gushed, grinning.
“Yes! We’ll do it!” Koschei nodded, crumpling up his page of doodles.
“Are you sure? Don’t you have classes to teach?”
“Of course we’re sure! They can get it by correspondence!” Koschei exclaimed.
“Well, I suppose…” The president looked down at his notes, then up and at Theta’s frankly ridiculous puppy dog eyes. “Alright. Go sign out a TARDIS.”
“Going!” Theta bounced out of his chair and tugged Koschei out the door.
“They do a lot of man handling, don’t you think?” Borusa asked. He received a round of nods in return.
“Order! Now, for the next item: the sewage system is overflowing in sector nine…”
“So, Earth, huh?” Theta said, mock-calmly, as he signed out a TARDIS, and passed Koschei a key. “We need to get camouflaged. Somehow I doubt the robes will fit in 21st century London.”
“Hmm…Yes. I suppose.” A glint entered Koschei’s eyes. “I don’t suppose they wear leather gloves?”
“So, we’re travelling the stars at last?”
Theta grinned, “Apparently, crazy dreams come true! Who knows? Maybe Doijher will get in your pants next!”
Koschei glared, flexing his newly gloved hands.
Next Chapter
author: infraredphaeton
summary: The Master doesn't like dying. Ten point Five is bored. A match made in some form of heaven.
In this chapter: Enter the Time Lords!
pairings: Commander!Simm!Master/Ten point 5, Theta (Nine)/Koschei(unknown Master)
spoilers: END OF TIME PART TWO SPOILED TO THE MAX
rating: PG-13
Once the Master was settled on the purple polka dotted couch with a cup of tea, the Doctor disappeared into the kitchen in search of the promised biscuits.
“So I’ve been thinking,” said the Doctor, returning with a huge tin, and setting it down on the table.
“Really? I haven’t seen you do that in centuries!” interrupted the Master nastily, grabbing a pink wafer.
“Oi! Can it! So I’ve been thinking about perhaps spreading out: not just Earth, but the whole galaxy…” started the Doctor, giving the Master a hopeful look.
The Master nodded, stuffing another biscuit into his mouth. “I mean, taking over Earth is fine,” The Doctor shrugged, pouring milk into his tea, “but it seems a little small, you know? One planet, one time period…” The Doctor leaned forward, pulling at the collar of his shirt, and looked at the Master intensely.
The Master blinked and looked down at his tea. Perhaps it was spiked, and this was all a surprisingly pleasant hallucination. They happened sometimes, what with the psychosis. But this was far too nice compared to George the talking rabbit who’d followed The Master around during his entire year on The Valiant. Or perhaps, he pondered, he’d died mid transport, and had ended up in the Master’s version of heaven: fresh tea, an assortment of biscuits, and a homicidal Doctor staring at him like he was the most important thing in the universe. Which he was, obviously, but still. However, as the Doctor was fully clothed, and they were stuck on Earth with little to no chance of leaving, it was more likely he’d just landed in what was fast becoming his favourite alternate dimension.
“Another biscuit, Master? Or I think I might have cake in the fridge…”
Favourite. Alternate Dimension. Ever.
/*/*/*
Rose whistled as she unlocked the flat’s front door, “I’m home!”
“Who’s home?” asked a slightly hoarse, irritated male voice from the living room. Rose sighed as she hung up her jacket: it looked like she was to get to give another lecture about appropriate human behaviour. Owen had mentioned to Carl (the current Torchwood team leader, since Lucy had been eaten by the giant worm last Wednesday) that the Doctor had stolen yet another alien pencil sharpener today, and while Rose had explained the great human tradition that way stealing stationary from work, the line had to be drawn at alien artefacts. Even if they did sharpen pencils.
“Doctor?” She followed the sound of voices into the living room, nearly tripping over a big black riot gear helmet that had been dropped next to the door. Honestly, the Doctor made the strangest friends. This even trumped the kangaroo wrangler he’d picked up last week.
“Yes, Rose, I’m in here. This is my good friend…” The Doctor trailed off, looking expectantly at the man on the couch. Great. He’d picked up a stray so new that the Doctor couldn’t even remember his name.
“My name is Sam Ter,” said the man, taking her hand and looking into her eyes, “and you will ob-ow! Doctor!” Sam drew back, rubbing his bicep, where the Doctor had punched him. The Doctor stuck a grin on his face.
“None of that now. Rose, do you want some tea?” The Doctor asked, immediately making her suspicious. This Doctor was indeed more like the first Doctor she’d met (just as the Doctor had said and how confusing was that to think about?) so the offer was incredibly out of character. Especially when she considered that he had some of Donna in him as well. She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. He smiled innocently. Okay, that was it.
“What did you do?” Rose demanded, scowling at him.
“Absolutely nothing! I swear. Sam can back me up, right Sam?” The Doctor turned pleading eyes on the Master, who appeared to melt into the couch at the sight.
“Of course, my dear Doctor,” The Master said, eating more biscuits, “he hasn’t done anything, Miss…”
“Tyler,” Rose introduced herself, obviously waiting for the usual burst of celebrity excitement that came from the mention of the Tyler name, here in Pete’s world.
“Pleasure,” The Master nodded, “now, if you wouldn’t mind going away, the Doctor and I have some…business…to discuss.”
The Doctor nodded eagerly, “Yes, business. About computers and stuff. Very business like. So, Rose, if you don’t mind?” he gestured at her bedroom hopefully, and she pursed her lips, considering the two Time Lords with mascara smudged eyes.
“Alright,” Rose said, and trudged into her bedroom, “call me when we need to start supper.”
“Absolutely!” nodded the Doctor.
“And we are not eating beans on toast and banana splits again. I don’t care how much you like them.” She warned, closing the door.
“Yes Rose!” he smiled, waiting until she disappeared before turning back to the Master.
“You have a room mate.” The Master said. It was a statement, not a question.
“Well, yes,” replied the Doctor redundantly, “she came with the planet, actually.”
“Well in that case…you were talking about leaving Earth?”
“Right! Come have a look at this!” The Doctor grinned, gesturing the Master towards his own bedroom.
The Master smirked as he followed the Doctor in, closing the door behind them.
…And Dave Swinford could just shut up, really. The Doctor didn’t look that different in jeans compared to the suit.
Certainly not the extent that SAS Commander was going on about.
/*/*/*
“There’s a council called, Koschei.” Theta poked his head into Koschei’s office, where the bearded Time Lord was joyfully marking down essays.
“Hmm? What? Oh, Theta. Right, I’m coming. Just let me…” he trailed off, scratching a failing grade onto the closest paper.
“Making another student cry?”
“It’s the only way I can stave off insanity.” Koschei said grimly, putting down his pen. He looked up at Theta, “You know, I’m still not used to this new face of yours.”
“I like it,” Theta said, running a hand over his shorn short head and pulling at his larger than usual ears, “It’s distinctive.”
“That’s not always a good thing.” Koschei argued, as they left the office.
“Wait! Professor!”
Koschei sighed, and turned around, looking at the young Time Lord running towards him with great displeasure, “Yes, Doijher?”
“It’s about this new paper, Professor, I don’t quite understand-“
“Then come talk to me during office hours, Doijher. I have to go.”
“But Professor,” Doijher, who was a young man who looked to be in his early twenties, with a black bowl cut, bright blue eyes and sticky-out ears, looked like he was on the edge of tears, “these are your office hours!”
Koschei huffed and swept away in a glide of red and gold robes. Theta hung back and patted Doijher on the shoulder, “Don’t worry about it, lad. You can make a personal appointment. I’ll make sure he comes.”
“Oh! Thank you, Professor Theta! I’d just feel so much better after getting a chance to talk with the Professor in person, one to one, you know?”
“Of course,” Theta grinned manically, “now, I have a Council meeting to attend. But I’ll set up something for you and Professor Koschei, shall I?”
Doijher looked like he was about to cry with relief. “Thank you so much, Professor Theta!”
Koschei stalked back to them, and grabbed Theta by the arm, snarling at Doijher, “Go study your thermodynamics or something!”
“But professor, I’m a twelfth year! We finish thermodynamics in second ye-”
“I said go!”
“Yes Professor!” Doijher scurried off.
“Why do you insist on encouraging that little idiot, Theta?” Koschei asked, still pulling his unwilling friend up the corridor towards the council chambers.
“It’s good to have dreams. Even if they are as unlikely as getting Professor ‘Icy pants’ Koschei into bed.”
“Icy pants?” Koschei asked, raising a dark eyebrow. Theta shrugged.
“Or travelling time and space.” The two of them paused, looking out past the Dome towards the stars. Theta bit his lip. Koschei frowned.
“Foolish dreams.” Koschei sneered, shaking his head.
“Impossible dreams.” Theta agreed, smiling ruefully, “Let’s go suffer through another council meeting, shall we?”
“We shall,” Koschei sighed, and opened the doors. “I wonder what they want to talk about now?”
“Ah, Professors! Take a seat. We’re just about to begin.” greeted the President, frowning at their tardiness. Theta shot them a quick smile and sat in the nearest chair.
“Now, Theta, we’ve already talked about your alternate dimension duplicate. But, we’ve found something new.” The president hit a button, and a holograph of a rather handsome blond man dressed in tactical gear appeared on screen.
“Who’s that?” asked Koschei monotonously, already beginning to doodle on his note pad.
“That would be you, Professor Koschei.”
He looked up, “No it isn’t.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t have a beard,” Koschei decreed, and went back to his doodles.
“And that is completely impossible, I suppose?” asked Borusa sarcastically.
“Completely.” confirmed Koschei, sending Borusa the stare he usually reserved for students turning in their work three weeks late.
“I have to agree with Koschei,” Theta said, looking at the hologram.
“Because that’s a surprise,” muttered another councilman, and received Theta’s own ‘three-weeks-late-essay’ stare.
“Nevertheless!” The President interrupted, “It’s definitely Professor Koschei. He’s called the Master, apparently.”
Koschei smiled slightly.
“Someone has to deal with this, before it gets out of hand. Track them down and figure out a solution. Bring them back to Gallifrey for judgement.” The President decreed.
“We’d have to leave Gallifrey?” asked Theta, eyes glinting.
“Yes.”
Koschei put down his pen, and the two Time Lords looked at each other.
“We’ll do it!” Theta gushed, grinning.
“Yes! We’ll do it!” Koschei nodded, crumpling up his page of doodles.
“Are you sure? Don’t you have classes to teach?”
“Of course we’re sure! They can get it by correspondence!” Koschei exclaimed.
“Well, I suppose…” The president looked down at his notes, then up and at Theta’s frankly ridiculous puppy dog eyes. “Alright. Go sign out a TARDIS.”
“Going!” Theta bounced out of his chair and tugged Koschei out the door.
“They do a lot of man handling, don’t you think?” Borusa asked. He received a round of nods in return.
“Order! Now, for the next item: the sewage system is overflowing in sector nine…”
“So, Earth, huh?” Theta said, mock-calmly, as he signed out a TARDIS, and passed Koschei a key. “We need to get camouflaged. Somehow I doubt the robes will fit in 21st century London.”
“Hmm…Yes. I suppose.” A glint entered Koschei’s eyes. “I don’t suppose they wear leather gloves?”
“So, we’re travelling the stars at last?”
Theta grinned, “Apparently, crazy dreams come true! Who knows? Maybe Doijher will get in your pants next!”
Koschei glared, flexing his newly gloved hands.
Next Chapter
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