best_enemies | Fic: The Entropy Increases (Reply)

Title: The Entropy Increases. A very stupid title, but I couldn't think of anything better.
Characters: Ten/Simm!Master/Handy, the Master's old TCE and someone else I don't want to mention here.
Wordcount: 850-900.
Rating: R. Nothing explicit, but rather cynical. Better safe than sorry.
Summary: TCE is a very useful device.
Note: None of the characters belong to me. The original concept belongs to ever so wonderful

lucife . Cynicism is totally mine.

“Rassilon’s rod! That was just… Overwhelming! Absolutely wonderful. Have you been keeping my TCE all this time as a keepsake? I haven’t thought I was ever going to see it again. Oh, it simply makes me weep, all those memories… Or have you been using it for err… fun?”

“Well…I was sort of hoping to find out if it is any good for anything. Looks like we've just found out what it is good for. Will you give me a kiss for my being so inventive?”

“You cheeky bastard. My dear old TCE is very good for many things.”

“For example?”

“Well. It’s very good for killing things, actually. No blood, no mess. And you can even sell your victims as toys if you find yourself desperate for a couple of shillings. Best if they are some kind of celebrities, of course. Pop stars, for example.”

“Master, stop it. You are being disgusting.”

“It was not my idea, sticking my brilliant invention up…”

BANG!

The Time Lords looked in the direction it came from.

They blinked.

They blinked some more.

The tried rubbing their eyes.

But the vision stayed.

“ROSE!!!"

The Doctor jumped to his feet, wrapping the blanket around himself. Which left the Master completely naked on the bed, but he did not feel ill at ease about it. Not at all.

"What the f.. I mean, what the bleeding hell do you think you are doing! It’s the seventh time you break into this Universe, have you got any idea of the consequences?! I’ve heard it’s +10 C in Moscow nowadays, and it’s JANUARY! Don’t tell me you didn’t know it’s your fault! And YOU,” the Doctor addressed the rather embarrassed Handy, “YOU are even more irresponsible than I thought you were! Can’t you keep an eye on your girlfriend or was it too much of me to ask you for?”

Handy raised guilty eyes on the Doctor and nodded at the handcuffs, linking him to Rose.

"Yes, yes, that was a good excuse for the first time, well, maybe for the second even, but not for the seventh! Can't you just, well, I don't know, lock her up in the attic or something!"

“Well, Doctor," said the Master, smiling broadly, “I warned you. I warned you sooo many times. Your pets are always so arrogant. Miss Tyler, it’s for the fourth time that you break into our bedroom when we are both naked and in the same bed. What else do you need to convince you to stay where you were told to by your beloved Doctor?”

Rose wore the air of dull-kind-of-stubborn persistence about herself. Actually, she looked like a hamster, ready for a deadly battle.

“You can take him,” she told the Master, pointing at now very miserable Handy, “It would be only fair, you take him, and I have the original Doctor."

“And why, miss Tyler, do you think it would be fair, I wonder?”

“Because you’ve already had the original one for long enough, and besides…”

“Hey! Stop it, stop it both of you!,” shouted the Doctor, completely outraged by their attitude, “I’m not a thing, no one is having me!”

“Hush, Doctor,” said the Master, obviously delighted by the scene, “It's the fourth time miss Tyler here claims it to be fair for me to give you to her. And each time she comes up with a new argument. I'm rather curious what is it going to be this time, that makes it all so fair. So?”

“You’ll be better off with this one. He is a bit rubbish. You can brainwash him and he will let you take over the Universe. And you won’t have to choose whether to go killing people or shag the Doctor, you’ll have both.”

Handy was now scarlet with shame, tears ready to drop from his eyes. The Doctor stared at Rose, speechless.

"And if I don't give you the Doctor, you'll keep destroying the Universe?" continued the Master.

"I can stay here."

"Ha! Miss Tyler, you are fascinating. He has already sent you back seven times, and you still didn't get the message!"

"Doctor," pleaded Rose, "You will let me stay, won't you?"

The Doctor said nothing, but his glare conveyed the answer plainly enough.

"Doctor," said the Master sitting upright and winking at the Doctor, "May I ask you to go to the kitchen and fetch us all some tea. We can discuss the whole matter in a civilised manner."

The Doctor left for the kitchen, wondering what the Master had on his mind.

When he returned, Handy was sitting on the Master's lap, weeping against his shoulder, and Rose was no longer present.

"Nice to see you are getting on well. And where's Rose? And where did we get that barbie doll from? MASTER!"

"What?" answered the Master with a smile of a new born baby.

"I strongly disapprove! Well, good shot, by the way... And it's the last time you've killed a sentient being! From now on, it's only puppies and only for Christmas!"

"Sentient?! Her?! Don't make me laugh, Doctor. Now," said the Master, unbuttoning Handy's shirt, "How about we try to find a way to comfort our Handy here? I propose we use my TCE in process, just to make it a bit symbolic."