best_enemies | Rec: 500 Bottles of Beer by aralias

So, it would appear I am late to my own reccing party. I blame exams.
but let's start with:
Title: 500 Bottles of Beer
Pairing: eight/master
Length: around 12,500 words- a good long read
Warnings: by the author's warnings? none. I'd say... don't read while drinking liquids
Author on LJ (or Teaspoon, or Prydonian, if you can't find the author on lj):

aralias
Author website: none
Why this must be read: It's Eight/Master, which is much neglected, and arialas has the mopst wonderful, silly but serious prose style. It's one of those lazy stories that draws you in and makes you keep reading even when it's far too late in the evening and you have work tomorrow. It's friendly and silly in a pairing that is all about the emo and the torture (not that I don't love the torture) with a bitter, rather strange undertone to it that keeps what should be just silly, very memorable.
Excerpt:
"...Can’t you go and bother someone else? My third self is probably sitting around in his laboratory, not really up to anything. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to engage in some light verbal or physical sparring with you, after you put me back on my ship.”

“I’m afraid that is out of the question.”

“I thought it would be,” the Doctor said wearily. “You know, this is all feeling very familiar. Am I at least wearing clothes this time?” He felt for the edge of his nightshirt and pulled it further down his legs so that it covered his knees. Full embarrassment was apparently waiting until he was properly awake to spring at him. That was the good news. “Well?” he asked the floor. “What do you want? An apology? I can do an apology. I’m sorry about the thing with the Axons. Now, can I, please, go home?”

“No, Doctor, you cannot,” the Master said. “Whenever you are ready to sit up and behave like a reasonable person, you will find a pair of trousers folded to your left. I will be waiting for you in the library – I expect you remember where it is.”

Link to the story: 500 Bottles of Beer