No Longer Hearing DINOSAURS!! (A Lot of (Pre)History Remix)

[x-losfic.livejournal.com]

Title: No Longer Hearing DINOSAURS!! (A Lot of (Pre)History Remix)
Original: No Longer Hearing Voices by the incomparable, above-rubies aralias
Rating: PG-13 (Oh, no one even takes a coat off, it's sad, really.)
Author:x_los
Pairing/Characters: Five/Simm!Master
Summary: Action figure porn so deadly serious that, upon meeting it in an alley, a group of academics headed for an conference on the legacy of Max Weber paled, surrendered the field, turned around, walked home, resigned from their professorial positions and, the next day, while watching the Hills, applied for internships with Gawker. Action figure porn so unbelievably filthy that the compiler has received a salacious proposition/invitation to a quilting bee from zombie!Vladimir Nabokov, who happened to catch a glimpse of a photographic negative or three. Action figure porn that answers the irritating 'caw-kaw, caw-kaw!' noise that is the ceaseless cry of our generation for pure milk from the masectomied teat of Mother Nature--action figure porn WITH DINOSAURS!! * I said I'd do it. Where's your god now?

Silurian Sexing!** Permian Pleasures! Cretaceous Cuddling!

BATTLE ROYALE: WE HAD AN ODD NUMBER OF EPISODES. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

[x-losfic.livejournal.com]

Through semi-random selection, I've drawn up tables. Victor advances to the Play Offs, until only The Ultimate Episode is left standing. The poll opens on Wednesday, but until then, make your case in the comments! Last week's victor: THE MIND OF EVIL! This week's contestants are:

THE CLAWS OF AXOS

(You could take the usual precautions...sticky tape on the windows, that sort of thing.)
 
vs.


TIME-FLIGHT

(I don't know what English cricket is coming to.)

vs.


THE TRIAL OF A TIME LORD:

THE ULTIMATE FOE

(The Master : [Attempting to hypnotise Glitz with a swinging watch] "Are you listening, Sabalom Glitz?"

Glitz : "Not really, I was just wondering how many grotzis this little bauble cost you.")

Fanfiction: Timelines

[zero-ac.livejournal.com]

Title:Timelines
Characters/Pairing: Theta, Koschei, implied Doctor/Master
Rating: PG
Genre: General/Angst 
Summary: He stands in front of the Untempered Schism and finds himself holding three timelines in his hand; he follows them and finds that the other boy is holding them too.